They’re waiting for me to crack 

The wait is over.

My cousin passed away on Weds. His battle with cancer is over. He’s no longer suffering or in any pain. The bonus of my faith is…believing that he is truly in a better place! Him and Grandma must be getting into all kinds of trouble up here! 

His family no longer has to watch him suffer and slowly fade away. The wait and the battle are over. While he will be missed, I am so happy for him and his family that it went swiftly and peacefully. 

I’ve been given well wishes and thoughts and prayers. I am constantly being asked how I am. Am I sure that I can come into work today? Do I need anything? Am I SURE that I am ok?? 

I feel like everyone is watching me and waiting. Waiting for me to break down. Waiting for me to cry. Waiting for me to fall apart. 

They must think I’m some cold heartless b****. I haven’t cried. I didn’t leave work when I found out it happened and I have been at work since. I have decided that I can’t cry. Stupid idiotic commercials make me tear up and cry, but this….no. Maybe it’s because I know that he’s in a better place. Maybe it’s because I know he isn’t suffering.

Who knows.

All I know is….

Yes, I’m ok.

Yes I’m sure.

No, I don’t need a hug.

No, I don’t need to go home.

I promise I’m not about to have a mental or emotional breakdown. 
I’ve prepared myself for this and I’m coping.  Simple as that.


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