I’ve officially been familiar with a chicken

Before you get all weirded out and click the unfollow button…

By this I mean I have never “dressed” a chicken.

Well… Not till a few days ago.

That’s right. I’m almost 32 and I just did it for the first time. No,  I don’t have anything against chicken. I love eating chicken.  No, we don’t buy the pre-roasted ones they have the store.  Unless I’m desperate that is.

Sadly,  all work done De-grossing chickens and turkeys for cooking has been done by Hubby.  I find the idea of sticking my hand up a chicken’s butt (no matter how dead she may be) and cleaning out her inners to be positively revolting.  So soooo sooooooooooo gross. I’m gagging just thinking about it.  Yes,  I understand that is food and that women have been doing this since the beginning of time… But I would have preferred to have joined the club.

Hubby was going to be home later than planned and had our hearts set on Beer Can Chicken. My options were to wait for and not get the kids fed till 7ish when one of them already had a rough and fiesty day at school with his teacher when he obviously needs early bedtime OR I could attempt to suck it up and make it myself so we could eat at 5:30-6 and still have him to early with less chaos. The inner me screamed to wait for Hubby.  The mama in me was thinking,  “S#!+..I really have to do this! ” So, I made Hubby give me the directions and secretly I gagged the WHOLE time it was being explained.

#1 Make sure excess blood is drained from chicken *gag*
#2 Make sure to remove the gut bag  from inside the chicken’s body cavity.

Wait wait wait…. I need to get WHAT from WHERE? !?!?

This is where I start frantically searching the house for gloves. I was running around like a mad woman pulling this from cabinets left and right on the hunt for gloves. I told Hubby I would do and I am not going to wuss out now!  Gloves gloves goes!  We MUST have gloves somewhere in this darn house,  right?

Apparently not.

No worries.  I didn’t give up. I made do with something else!  I used zip seal sandwich baggies. Yes…I am being serious and am definitely not kidding.  I put sandwich baggies on my hands instead of gloves. Hey!  Whatever works to get job done,  right? Although,  even with the baggies,  I was barely keeping myself from throwing up. 

Got bag retrieved and…thrown away!!! Eeewww!

#3 Rinse of outside and inside of chicken and then pat dry.
#4 Sprinkle seasoning all over outside and inside of the chicken.
#5 Open and drink or dump half of an 8 oz can of beer.  (After all the nastiness…I chose to drink mine! )
#6 Pour more seasonings into the can with the remainder half a beer.
#7 Put said can of beer on our handy dandy beer can Chicken maker’s (from cabelas) beer can holding place.

#8 put chicken onto beer can Chicken rack with the can o beer inserted up the chicken’s butt.

#9 Put in oven and bake at 375* for an hour to an hour and a half.

#10 Make sure temp is good and enjoy!

We usually soak the chicken in a big bucket of root beer over night or a day or so before cooking to caramelize the skin during cooking AND we usually cook it on the grill. But it’s winter and the oven seemed more suitable. 

I didn’t take any photos of the chicken done. Well….not before cutting it up and putting it on my plate! 😀

After all this grossness and work….it’s time for wine!!!



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